The Nerdy Loser

I have about 25 pounds left to lose.  After losing nearly 40, you would think that last 25 would be easy.

I think I started losing motivation was for several reasons. First, I feel much better about myself. It is much easier to look in the mirror and say “something must be done” when you are over 200 lbs. To look in the mirror and see myself at a size 14 like I was when I was 20 doesn’t feel quite so bad. When I was 20, I wasn’t happy with my weight, but it certainly wasn’t as disgusted as I was last year.

I got those blood test results back and I’m healthy. I always thought my weight was going to negatively affect my health, and it might have been at 202, but at 165 it isn’t hurting me. I always had this vision of all of the sudden finding out I was going to die because I was fat- my dad had a heart attack at 40, so that thought has always haunted me. It doesn’t look like I’m slowly killing myself Mesothelioma cancer style by being a little bit overweight after all.

Time and money. I’ve been working a ton because we need money and healthy food is expensive. Hot dogs and ramen noodles are much cheaper than sliced turkey and fresh vegetables. Chicken nuggets off the dollar menu are much cheaper than a grilled chicken salad. I wouldn’t be surprised if America gets fatter as the economy gets worse.

I did have a pretty decent day yesterday. I had PB and jelly on reduced fat crackers for breakfast, ramen with added veggies for lunch, a peppermint patty for my chocolate fix in the afternoon, chicken and veggies stir fry with plain rice for dinner. Today I’ve had cereal with skim milk for breakfast.

I had a few really disappointing weeks followed by an inability to control myself.

My sister who goes to WW with me got laid off, so she can’t go anymore. I’m pretty broke myself, so I figured I would take a few weeks off of going in and maybe just go once a month like I was in the beginning.

Then came last week.

I would be sitting around thinking that I wanted a S’More. Usually I can control that thought and shove it down, but instead I would say you don’t need that followed by yes I do. Then I would make a S’More. Then another one.

I wasn’t totally out of control, just enough that I wasn’t losing even with exercise.

Then I realized it was the dreaded PMS. It lasted for nearly a whole week. It is truly amazing to me how hormones can totally override everything rational and good in my brain.

Now, all three of my kids are sick and although I feel terrible for saying this- I’m ready to shove spoons into my ears to silence all the whining. Stress and eating…you know the deal.

I need to find a refocus once again. I’m trying to think what I can do to put my mind back on track. I remember how reading Dr. Phil’s book had inspired me at one point. I’m thinking about heading over to Amazon books and see if I can find something inspirational. Any other ideas on what do you do when you need to find new perspective?

I took my measurements this morning and here are my statistics so far:

I was so excited I had to give a quick update tonight on here.  As you know from reading below, I had a really disappointing two week period before this. I had two small gains in a row for a total of .4 lbs gained in two weeks. I was actually reading reviews for the best diet pill out there hoping to find some kind of boost for me.

Then came some relief for me tonight- I lost 2 lbs this week!

I completed the second week of the Jillian Michael’s 30-day shred. I took off Wed and Saturday, but did level 2 the other 5 days.

I will take my measurements in the morning since that has been my regular schedule for measuring, but I’m just so glad to be over the next hump.

My total lost is now 37.8lbs. with 23.4 left to go to “goal.”

I am just about done with my second week on the 30-day shred.

There is absolutely a big difference between my fitness level two weeks ago and today. When I started on this plan, I had gotten so out of shape I couldn’t even do one push up to the floor. Yesterday I was able to do all of them in the strength set. I’m starting to see the muscles return on my arms and I’m very happy about it.

I was BETTER with eating this week. I am being honest when I say I definitely used probably most of my extra points, but I did not go overboard and only indulged in wine once this week (ahh the sugar).

We are coming closer to our grand rv trip to Maine and I’m feeling good about my fitness level in preparation for all that hiking!

Well, I completed my first week of the 30-day shred. I took my measurements and the only change is 1/2 an inch on my waist and 1/2 an inch on my hips. Everything else stayed the same so far. While that is actually not bad for 1 week of working out, the disappointing part is that I gained .2lbs again.

I didn’t eat that perfectly or anything this week, but I thought that working out 5 times in one week would have made some dent in the pounds. I certainly felt it in my muscles! After day 3, I was really sore. I rested day 4 and 5 and worked out day 6 and 7. There was a marked difference between working out on day 7 and day 1.

I’m moving on to 30-Day Shred level 2 tomorrow. Since I got thrown off a day over the weekend, I need to take 1 rest day today and start back up tomorrow. Then we switch back to 3 days on, 1 day off, 2 days on, 1 day off. I’m hoping the jump up in workout difficulty will help me this week too.

I do have to admit that I have been sneaking some crappy foods in. For example, I was at my parents house helping them lay porcelain tile in their new bathroom. When we were done, they wanted to go to Chick-Fil-A. That’s fine with me because they have good salads. I got the salad and a diet coke and everything was fine. The the kids wanted ice cream, so I got a small milkshake. I justified it in my head because I had the salad. If I was being completely honest with myself, I knew that that milkshake was way more points than I should have spent for the day. The tricks we play on ourselves.

I’m two days into my new plan and still hanging with it- that is an accomplishment given my track record lately!

I did Level 1 of the 30-Day Shred yesterday and today and BOY can I feel it. The muscles in my butt, thighs and shoulders are burning like crazy. Its amazing that just 2 months ago I could rip through that workout like nothing and now it hurts! The body deteriorates so quickly, but takes so long to build up.

I’m feeling good about this workout and I’m glad that I actually took the first step and got started. I’m excited to see what results I’ll have after the first full week.

A little gain is better than a big gain!

I had a rough two weeks. On top of my daughter’s first birthday party and the leftovers that followed, I also had two picnics and more leftovers including “better than you know what cake” and peanut butter chocolate bars.

I only exercised by taking a walk and working in my garden.

I was hoping not to gain very much.

I gained .2lbs, just a quarter pound. Not bad given the circumstances!

I have 4 weeks until I have a college reunion. I am currently a size 14 and I would love to be down to a 12 by the time the reunion rolls around.

I started tracking points again this morning and I am getting ready to go do my Jillian Michael’s 30-day shred level 1 workout. I’m going to try the 30 day plan this time around. Seriously. I know I’ve said I was going to do other kinds of plans, but this time I really am. Seriously.

I’m going to spend one week on each level and see where it takes me. I’m going to try 3 days on, 1 day off, 2 days on, 1 day off. So exercise like this:

Wed: Exercise

Thursday: Exercise

Friday: Exercise

Saturday: OFF

Sunday :Exercise

Monday: Exercise

Tuesday:OFF

As of today, my measurements are:

L Arm: 11.5

R Arm: 11.5

L Thigh:23.5

R Thigh:23

L Calf: 15

R Calf:15

Bust:39

Waist: 37.5

Hip:43

I will update these each week as I go along with the plan.

I’m choosing the 30-Day Shred because I like how simple they are to do. There are no crazy bells and whistles or complicated industrial products necessary. It only uses your body and a couple of hand weights. I’ve found the workouts challenging in the past and I think that I can do these for a month without getting bored.

On to another week!

I was walking around my house last night looking to eat. I wanted something and I couldn’t place what it was so I was eating everything. A few of the kids animal cookies, a few fruit snacks, a couple pretzels, a glass of wine…and then I realized that I have PMS. Its the one time of the month I can’t control myself whatsoever. I get these undefined cravings and just try lots of things to try to stop it.

Add on top of that the fact that it is a holiday weekend with picnics and hot dogs and salads…on top of my daughter’s birthday party and all the leftovers from that this past week.

I suppose there’s no need to start popping the Phenphedrine quite yet…I have been getting a ton of activity.

My kids were given a huge trampoline from their friends last week, so we’ve been doing a lot of bouncing. I’ve also dug out and planted a vegetable garden this week and done some general yard work. Yesterday was a great day, so we went to the state park nearby and took a long walk with the kids in strollers. That extra pushing adds to calories burned right?

We’ll see how things hold out by Tuesday!

I made an executive decision not to weigh in last night. Yesterday was election day and I’m running for a local office, so it was kind of a busy day for me. By the time dinner rolled around, I was starving and didn’t want to put off eating to go to weight watchers. With my daughter’s first birthday party this past weekend, I doubt I lost anything anyway! I tried to throw in low fat ingredients when I could, but there is really only so low fat you can make deviled eggs and salads that use olive oil.

We’ll see how well I do after Memorial Day!

My walking program has not really panned out for me. I hate Leslie Sansone. After 2 days of watching her, I was so annoyed by her chipper little giggles that I couldn’t take it anymore. Girly girls annoy me and she is absolutely one of those people I would punch in the face if I could. I think I’m going to have to go back to Jillian Michaels- she kicks ass.

We have this year’s vacation in stone now- we’re going to a cabin in Maine. I’m excited because I’ll be in good enough shape to do some serious hiking. Last time we went, I couldn’t keep up! All the outdoor activity should help to make up for all the large amounts of seafood dishes I’ll be eating. Its nearly impossible to have lobster without butter- right?

Next year I’d love to make a trip to Las Vegas again. That is one of my dreams-maybe I’ve mentioned it before- to go out there all hot looking since I was huge and pregnant last time. Last time, we won the trip as an incentive through my husband’s work and we stayed at the Wynn. We won’t be able to afford that on our budget, so I have to research some good, but less expensive Las Vegas hotels for the next trip. But that’s a whole year away at least…a girl can dream right?!